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In the world of business more than any other world, it is important to know with whom you are talking to.
In the world of business more than any other world, it is important to know with whom you are talking to. People that show you one face might be hiding a completely different one from you but if you are not astute to understanding the signals, you will be the loser. Some of these signals are quite cultural while others are normal human behavior that most people have a difficult time to read. To succeed, one has to be a master non-vocal reader.
I believe, from my limited experience, that the world is split into two spheres. The first, I like to call the North European world. This includes countries like the Scandinavian countries, the Germanic countries, the Benelux, Britain and Ireland, the US, Canada, Australia and New Zealand and I would also throw in this lot, Singapore, Hong Kong and others such countries where the law is above all and where it is applied rigorously. Some might argue that not all these countries are the same and I would agree that there are differences in magnitude regarding their defense of the law but essentially they are the same. The rest of the world makes up the balance. The split is due to each sphere’s degree of politeness.
The first sphere, the North European world, is an impolite sphere. The balance countries are polite and in some cases excessively polite. Superficially I have insulted the North European world. Nothing could be farther from the truth. If anything, it is quite the opposite. It is because they are impolite that they can communicate openly and fairly with each other. The problem lies in that of the polite society that has stifling restriction put on it to not allow conversation flow to happen. Restriction of social status, behavior and even the kinds of words used make for burdens that most have a lifetime to learn how to perfect. In essence, they work all their lives to learn how not to talk with each other but rather how to talk to each other. This is an issue that costs a lot of time and money because any move that is not properly calculated from a polite stance will be met with a frozen counter stance. The amount of time it might take to correct this issue might be long and costly and in extreme cases, never recoverable.
Allow me to give a small example of this.
The Japanese struggle to say no because they are taught that it is impolite to refuse a request. So even if they have no intention to take things further, they are stifled by this heritage. For the Arabs, every word used between themselves holds a place and the failure, for example, of not using the full title or the inappropriate title might already put the one trying to communicate in the wrong...even before he has said anything. This is just when a cultural issue is the barrier. Between members of the sample culture, it is even worse because they are expected to know these issues even if they disagree with them. A small sample of this behavior within the Gulf is failing to receive your enemy or at least someone you hate with open arms as though they were long lost brothers. These two people might detest each other but cultural decorum demands that they great each other as brother. Even when they speak, they cannot honestly tell each other what they think about each other.
They can hint and dance around their thoughts but can never make their thoughts public because the one that does that will be considered a social pariah. This is not the case in the North European sphere. There, one is expected to be open, clear and honest about what one thinks. Only politicians seem to not appreciate this approach and will pander to what he believes will get him the most votes. If a businessman tries to be overly concerned about his counterpart, it will be taken in the wrong way as the motivation for the concern will worry them and not put them at ease. What in the Gulf would be perceived as the norm, i.e. asking about one’s family, would be considered out of the norm in the North European sphere and thus it would raise an alarm in the head of the person being asked this personal question as he will be thinking there is no basis for my counterpart to ask me this personal question so why is he asking it of me?
In the Arab world we look for a Sheikh, here meaning the highest representative of something like a company, to Sheikh connection. Anything less would be taken as an affront and this is why many deals sometimes never go through and people are left confused as to why that is the case.
The cost for business is huge when confronted by this split in the spheres. Actions that are not considered or words that are not fully thought through might have significant repercussions that might never be corrected. We live in a very sensitive world where people carry their feelings on their sleeves.
In a world where decision are made or killed by both the verbal and non-verbal actions, it is incumbent on us to learn the subtle signals that people give off. Those who can read them well, succeed. Those who don’t ...don’t.
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